Tea-time just got a whole load more creative!
I am <—THIS—> close to buying on and sending it to the girls at Chanel! I think Karl would totally appreciate my amusing yet friendly gesture and aptly reward my in-tuned observational skills with a 2.55 bag.
Christy Turlington, Natalia Vodianova, and Karen Elson. It’s like the ultimate desperate housewives. They couldn’t get any cooler if they tried. The flawless skin, the high glossy pony tails, the sumptuous fabrics that cling to their curved bodies as if God himself had sewn them into it. Though I suppose being shot by Steven Meisel also helps.
One of the many things I have been meaning to do recently was to upload some of the really lovely gifts that I have been .. er… gifted. (Appalling use of language yes I know)
One of which was this amazing bag co designed by the artist Ben Eine for Anya Hindmarch, who also designed their window displays back in March that I blogged about on the main POP site.
It really is super cute, and has since been adopted for the uber useful job of my new prop kit. A HUGE improvement from the previous canvas Sainsburys shopping bag I was dragging around previously. So huge thanks all round.
Then last week to my complete surprise I came into the office (after taking practically a month off to do the random jobs I can no longer mention) to find this on my desk.
HOW CUTE!!! And there’s one for each of us, meaning no fighting between the assistants. Good job!
So massive thank-yous all round to the wonderful Emilie and Amee at Karla Otto. Will be thinking of you both when I parade my semi-naked self round the house in my new pants. Which I am sure they will be thrilled to hear. Ha!
Who said that working for free for nearly three years wouldn’t pay off!!
Now if someone would kindly like to gift me a highly paid job, a house, a car, and a swanky vacation!?… Cough….
Ok so some of you might have noticed that over the last month I have had to take down a whole loads of posts, which believe me was very very annoying.
Unfortunately as it turns out reporting back on a load of fun and semi interesting money jobs including Wag-type celebrities is in breach of a confidentiality agreement that I was never told of or made to sign. Meaning all the fun gossip and pictures that were already in the magazines and newspapers for everyone else to see were not allowed to be shown my little old me. So down they came.
Even though this does make it look like I have been doing bugger all for the last month or so I promise you I have in fact been working my little balls off doing lots and lots of interesting things that I’m probably not allowed to tell you.
Frustrated? Yup, me too. But apparently that’s the way it goes.
(However you can see them here, here, here, here> and here!!!)
So I’m thinking what I can do instead is suddenly post 100000 different things on the same day and hope that y’all won’t notice, and it will miraculously look like I have been keeping my blog up to date after all 
Sounds good? Great!!
Amidst the total boredom that is suppressing my life at present (an absence of creative freedom, self doubt, and bone idleness are most likely to blame) I surprisingly found myself searching through Twitter for inspirational things to do. Well, that plus a minor amount of social stalking that I hoped would jump start my determination and slightly competitive nature which I must admit is currently lacking of late. Normally I wouldn’t be caught dead doing such a thing, if I’m honest I find Twitter totally mind numbing and frankly couldn’t care less about peoples constant status updates about their monotonous daily activities (wasn’t that what Facebook was for anyway), however I am slightly obsessed with the search option for live updates. Stick in naughty phrases, and frowned apon words like ‘paedophile’, ‘rapist’ and ‘bum sex’ and Bob’s your uncle, instant amusement.
It was however due to this childish behaviours that I stumbled across this. H&M’s very own virtual play room if you will. All the fun of the changing room with none of the waiting line bollox, nor might I add the ‘Jesus Christ my ass look’s huge!’ moment when you realise despite how much time you will spend around the 6ft 3 uber-thin women their good fortune will not simply rub off on you!
It’s also a pleasant way to create a mini photo-shoot without any of the call-in hassle.
All I need now is a pirated version of Photoshop and I can place my lovelies in a much more tropical surrounding.
BEHOLD MY FASHION ARMY!
Please excuse the limited choice of footwear. I’ve noticed they are all black, and often the same styles, however H&M’s currently selection is slightly limited. I’ll be interested to see if they squeeze in a few updates as the months roll on.
Can I just say Switzerland is possibly THE most expensive place in the world. I mean WOW. Can I also say I don’t think I have ever eaten that much cheese, and bread in my life. That’s all there is to eat. Seriously not the right holiday location for those concerned about their waist lines. It is however just the place to go if you want total and utter isolation and relaxation. You are totally hidden up in the mountains with nothing to disturb you bar the roar of the fire and the sounds of a hundred cow bells jangling in the distance. The air is so still, and it is completely and utterly silent.
Well, at least it would be totally silent it we weren’t running around with a crew of 8, dragging suitcases, pumping music, slamming car doors and general causing loads of havoc. Wouldn’t surprise me if we are the talk of the neighbourhood for quite some time, especially seeing we somehow managed to convince half of them to pose for us somewhere in the story. So not your average chalet renters then?
As predicted I am semi banned from posting any photos that might show a hint of what we got up to, or really give the game away until much closer to POP’s release date, so hopefully in the coming months I might be able to drop a photo hint or two, but we’ll all just have to wait to find out.
I can show you these:
(Possibly the most beautifully decorated house EVER)
(Another incredibly beautiful house)
(A child’s ‘Play Room’)
(It was basically a small shop. They had like 30 of EVERYTHING)
So.
Points of Switzerland
1) A tooth brush costs £6
2) Restaurants serve melted cheese by the plate load. (It like a cross between the texture of Cheddar and the taste of Camembert and is so so so so so so good!)
3) I have never seen more beautifully decorated homes in my life
4) The locals are shit minted (However they’re all so so so so so so nice you in no way ever felt out of place or awkward about your financial differences)
5) We stayed in Richard Scarrys house that is wonderfully littered with family memorabilia and a hundred framed sketches (Fiona/Olympia Scarry’s grand daddy)
6) Local cats are well hard – even saw one catch his own lunch. YUM.
7) We had the BEST security guard ever who helped out on countless occasions with our luggage. Thank you Bvlgari!
Other humerous points also involved the team arriving at the airport dripping from head to toe in heavy fur coats. We looked like a total bunch of pimps and understandably were given plenty of dodgy looks and even the occasional growl from passers by. Meow.
We also somehow managed to blag our way into the pent house suite of the palace hotel to shoot, despite the fact it was closed to the public for renovation and looked like something out of’The Shining’. Let me tell you, walking down pitch black long winding corridors in the middle of the night are no fun. Especially when you’re the last in the line.
Anyway. After 5 days of madness I’ll be glad to head home. Totally and utterly exhausted, and in desperate need of vegetables!
Ok so for any of you that thought that being a stylists assistant was in any way remotely glamorous, now is the time for you to please, please think again. For those of you who don’t already know you will spend the majority of your time: a) locked in a fashion cupboard (hence the name) b) packing and un-packing boxes c) running around like a headless chicken with way too many things to do and simply not enough hours in the world to do them d) STRESSSSSSING OUT.
Now POP only comes out twice a year. Many would think that this means we have far less work to do, and can basically sit around on our arses until it’s time for the next issue. Sadly, this isn’t always the case. More often than not what it does mean is that we have very little warning when the shoots come up, incredibly limited time to prep them, and it’s always a case of seeing what samples we can actually get hold of in such a short time schedule whilst trying not to piss off any PR’s.
Well at least that was what it was like last issue. This time however, it look’s like things are set to run a little more smoothly which I could not be more grateful for. (Especially seeing as I’ve had to pick up a second job to make ends meet. Fashion doesn’t pay the bills kids) . We’ve just finished prepping for one of our new shoots which is set to take place in Switzerland, and this is the first time that POP are flying me out somewhere so it’s all very exciting.
However to go back to my original point – working in fashion ain’t stylish. See below for an example of what I mean. That massive tip, the pile of suitcases, and boxes, and bags once used to be our offices. This is what a photo shoot really looks like. Well, at least before we hit the studio anyway.
All of this then has to get packed up, dragged to my editors house, edited, re-packed, dragged to an airport where we then have to PUT ON the heaviest pieces to keep weight down, and dragged across Europe before we even start using it for it’s actual intention. Oh and FYI, those suitcases by the door are jammed with clothes. Totally jammed. Like not an inch of space. Just in case you thought it didn’t look that bad
But look at this one thing that was in amidst the piles of samples. At first glance it looks like just any other white lace granny bag right? WRONG!
LOOK CLOSER!!
It’s laser cut horse hair!!!
Now if that isn’t a good enough reason to cry into the night and wail of the loss that is Alexander McQueen then I don’t know what is!
Anyway. I’m off to drag suitcases round Switzerland, dress people like milk maids, eat too much fondue, and listed to yodeling. Auf wiedersehen!
Look what we have here!
A complete surprise I assure you. Not some massive set up that I’ve been planning for ages…..cough.
(No, really!)
Totally chuffed to pieces.
THANK YOU FASHION GONE ROGUE!!!!!
Quick, grab your latest copy of POP. Flick to the mast head. Look up the top. Squint. Squint harder! See my name? Tiny, but I promise you its there.
Just another Fashion Assistant/clothes whore/west-end dangleberry I hear you wheeze? Probably. For I might not have any pages in the magazine (YET) but alas I have this blog. Thanks Boss!
So this is my dais as you will. Containing not only references to my submissions for THEPOP.COM but also as a scrapbook for future ideas, day trips to PR’s or what ever I see that takes my fancy. Constant blabberings about irrelivant nothing-ness much in the vein of this sentence. You get the drift.
SO..
First up my pretties is my sparkly new on-line editorial for POP. Photographed by ‘Miss V’s’ Robert Harper and styled by myself. The plot? I wanna do something sheer, naked, hot… like really really sexy. Who has sex a lot? Slags! No wait, Prostitutes!…. Cha-ching!
Well, so that’s not exactly how it came about but more what it turned into. Either way I hope it gets you in the mood. Click here for the end product. Otherwise, scroll down below for my favourite shots and some of the ones that didn’t quite cut it. But, hey hoe that’s the way it goes! Ohhh and for a behind-the-scenes voyeuristic insight into the shoot click here for Kenneth Soh’s account of the procedings over at TheFashPack.
TIE ME UP TIE ME DOWN
